


leave the lights on (when i sleep alone)

by atlantisairlock



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, F/F, Future Fic, Gen, Kid Fic, Parent-Child Relationship, Past Character Death, Team Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-13 15:59:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14751929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlantisairlock/pseuds/atlantisairlock
Summary: Very early on, Reece learns that there are a lot of things she isn't allowed to talk about in school, including - but not limited to - the secret subway they spend most of their weekends in, the armoury of guns Mom has in aforementioned subway, the earpiece that's always in Mom's ear, and what Mom does for a living.AKA the canon compliant future fic where everything still sucks but Shaw has a daughter.





	leave the lights on (when i sleep alone)

**Author's Note:**

> six years later, team machine is basically shaw, lionel, zoe, gen, lee & taylor running the show & taking care of root & shaw's daughter while doing it. 
> 
> i wrote this because it wasn't just that root died alone. but shaw was also left alone. and i didn't want root to die alone. and i sure as hell didn't want shaw to be alone either. 
> 
> this is a lot shorter than i expected because surprise surprise, it actually hurts like fucking hell to write something canon compliant & not a fix-it! 
> 
> title from 'better by now' by ritual. i listened to it while scrolling through the shoot tag on my blog and CRIED.

Very early on, Reece learns that there are a lot of things she isn't allowed to talk about in school, including - but not limited to - the secret subway they spend most of their weekends in, the armoury of guns Mom has in aforementioned subway, the earpiece that's always in Mom's ear, and what Mom does for a living. Uncle Lionel says that if her friends or teachers ask, she should just say that Mom is a cop, just like Uncle Lionel himself. That's another thing Reece isn't allowed to talk about - the fact that Uncle Lionel isn't her  _actual_ uncle even though he's registered as such for the days Mom can't make it to pick her from kindergarten and Uncle Lionel comes by instead. 

She thinks about these things sometimes, but they don't really bother her, because she's happy and content and really good at keeping secrets. When she was four, Lee taught her how to pinky promise and told her solemnly that you could  _never_ break a pinky promise, and Reece pinky-promised Mom and Uncle Lionel not to tell her friends in school about all those things and she means it. 

Besides, there are more interesting things to think about. 

 

 

There are a lot of things she isn't allowed to talk about to other people, but Reece gets to _ask_ about everything. Mom says curiosity is a good thing and it should be encouraged and Reece should never be afraid to ask questions because _staying_ ignorant is much worse than  _being_ ignorant. Mom listens whenever she has a question about the sprawling, beautiful city around her and patiently explains the answers to her until Reece gets it and figures things out. When Mom doesn't know the answer either, she'll just ask the Machine and they'll both get a prompt answer - either texted to Mom's cell phone or broadcast over the nearest speaker. 

She gets to ask about  _everything_ \- except a very, very small selection of topics she figures out by trial and error. She asks about them, and Mom never gets mad or clenches her jaw or shouts at her the way she yells at the Machine sometimes, but she goes so so still and something in Reece makes her feel like that is so much worse. 

So she doesn't - she doesn't ask why Mom sometimes flinches when the Machine reads out answers to Reece's questions and she doesn't ask about the scar behind Mom's ear which she always covers with her earpiece and she definitely doesn't ask about the tattoo on Mom's left arm.

 

 

Her middle name is Samantha and absolutely  _nobody_ is ever allowed to talk about that.

 

 

Reece is good with her alphabet and numbers. She can even count to a hundred - she rattles off the sequence of numbers to Uncle Lionel one day and he ruffles her hair, grinning. "All ready for first grade, aren't you? Just as smart as your mom."

Reece is also good with things she doesn't learn in school. She learns stuff from Mom and Uncle Lionel and the other people that come by the subway sometimes. Aunt Zoe taught her how to pick locks and Gen sat down with her once to take apart a surveillance camera and showed her how all the bits and pieces worked. Whenever she goes to the park with Uncle Lionel, they sit on a bench with ice cream and he teaches her how to observe - to really  _see_ people, to see a situation, see a place. She picks up on things even if she doesn't fully understand. Here and now, she picks up on the way Uncle Lionel's smile slips a little when he mentions her mom. For the briefest moment he looks sad, like he's lost something or remembering something long gone. 

She doesn't really get why - observation doesn't necessarily mean comprehension, as she's learned the hard way - because Mom isn't lost or gone, but then Uncle Lionel's asking her what else she's learned in school so Reece shrugs it off and starts talking about how they played soccer at kindergarten for the first time this Monday. 

 

 

She can count to a hundred and she's proud of it, but more importantly, she can read the tattoo on Mom's arm. It says  _4AF_ , with an arrow right underneath- simple plain black lines on her left forearm that she doesn't cover up but also doesn't ever talk about. 

She's only ever asked Mom about what it means once, but Reece is good at keeping secrets and she learned everything from Mom and Mom just smiled and shrugged. "It doesn't mean anything, kiddo. Nothing you have to worry about." 

And Reece knew, even then, that she was lying - still knows it now - but she keeps quiet. She asks Uncle Lionel and Lee and Gen and Aunt Zoe and Taylor and even the Machine, but nobody will tell her what  _4AF_ means. 

The Machine, at least, tells Reece that she'll understand  _in time,_ and she supposes that's another thing she has learned - how to wait. 

 

 

According to him, Uncle Lionel has been bringing Reece into the precinct since she was born, but she only remembers her visits from the age of four and up. She remembers things like being cooed at by his colleagues, and sitting on his chair and trying to spin it, and also once, just once, peering at some photos on his desk. In them are a lot of people she doesn't recognise, but also a handful she does, like her mom. 

In one of them, her mom is standing beside another woman. She's taller and has lighter brown hair and her eyes look strangely familiar. They stand close to each other and Mom is almost smiling and the sun is shining and it's strangely, deeply beautiful.

 _Uncle Lionel,_ she remembers asking.  _Who's in this picture?_

She remembers how absently he answered, caught up in a sheaf of paperwork.  _Your mother, honey._

She also remembers scrunching up her face in confusion.  _No, the other person._

And then - the way Uncle Lionel looked up properly, and went still the way Mom did - does - when Reece asks about something that she doesn't know how to answer, that  _nobody_ can answer. She remembers the silence stretching out, before Uncle Lionel shook his head.  _Hey, I think your mom is done with work. Wanna go pick her up?_

The next time she visits, the picture is conspicuously missing. 

 

 

Once and only once, someone named Harold visits them at the apartment she and Mom live in. He knocks when Mom is helping her with a collage due on Monday and she opens the door and calls him by name. Reece doesn't really remember what happens after but at some point Uncle Lionel and Gen arrive, and then Mom and Uncle Lionel start screaming and saying some ugly things, and Gen quickly decides that these are inappropriate for Reece to hear, so she picks her up and sweeps her to Aunt Zoe's apartment, where she spends a day playing board games and drinking chocolate milk.

Gen gets Reece out of there quickly, but not quickly enough to avoid her hearing one thing that burns itself in Reece's memory and doesn't leave.

_Do you really think this is what Root would have wanted for her?_

 

 

Technically, the Machine is Reece's best friend. She's always there - every hour of the day, everywhere Reece goes. She keeps Reece company when Mom and Aunt Zoe and Uncle Lionel are off at work and Lee, Taylor and Gen are in school and Reece is on her own in the safety of the subway. She watches out for Reece and entertains her and helps her with work as necessary. Of all her guardians, the Machine answers her questions the most consistently, the most truthfully, the most accurately. There are some things that only the Machine will tell her about.

So she's the one Reece asks, after nobody will talk about The Harold Incident. She asks when she's alone in the subway and the Machine's voice is reverberant over the speakers - it's the one place where her voice sounds the most real, the most warm, the most human. "TM?" 

_Yes, Reece?_

"Who's Root?" 

Because she remembers what the Harold person said, and she's young but she's not stupid, and it sounds like a weird name but she's pretty sure that's what 'Root' is - a name, a name that belonged to a person. And she thinks this person might be the reason for so many things that are slowly beginning to add up - 4AF. The scar behind Mom's ear. The work that she and the others do. She thinks she might be the other woman in the photo with Mom at Uncle Lionel's desk. She thinks she might be the reason why Uncle Lionel's gaze sometimes lingers on her like something in him is irrevocably lost. She thinks she might be the reason why Mom never cries but sometimes stays up at night, so still, so silent. 

She needs to  _know._

And the Machine doesn't respond for the  _longest_ time, which is such a foreign thing - she's always so prompt with her answers, voice light and teasing, and she has never been so quiet for so long. Reece wonders for a second if she's finally asked a question the Machine doesn't know the answer to, and then - 

_Reece. I know the answer to your question. But this is not a question for me to answer. You need to ask your mother._

 

 

So she does. Reece asks and Mom freezes and she asks her where she heard that name and this time it's late at night and they're both alone in the subway so she's there to hear it all. Hear Mom yell at the Machine and she's  _never_ yelled like this before, not even when Harold visited. She puts Reece in a separate room away from the Machine's central core but she still hears her, strident and furious. 

 _You want me to tell her? You want me to tell her everything? About how you -_  Reece hears Mom stop, abrupt, breathe, and then continue, still angry, still loud.  _About what happened to her. She's six, she's far too fucking young, and -_

 _Your daughter is incredibly intelligent,_ The Machine says, so soft Reece can barely hear her.  _She is only going to get older, and smarter, and she is going to keep asking, and eventually, she is going to understand. She deserves to know, and she deserves for it to be her mother who tells her the truth._

_What she deserves is for her mother to be here with her._

_And she is._ The Machine pauses.  _Shaw. You are right here. And that isn't everything, but it is enough. You're alive._

 

 

And there's the longest, loudest silence Reece has ever heard before Mom speaks, one last time.  _I'm alive._

Two simple words, a fact, but leaden with so much weight that even she can feel it, even if she doesn't understand. 

 

 

She knows a lot and she has learned a lot and she has asked a lot, and above everything, Reece has figured out one thing -

_wait._

 

 

She waits until Mom comes into the room, looking tired but determined, sitting on the bed and reaching out. "Hey, kiddo. Come here." She closes her eyes and exhales slowly. "There are some things you've asked about, before this, that I haven't answered. And you know about keeping secrets. But I think it's time to stop keeping this one." Reece watches, cautious, observant, as Mom runs her fingers briefly over her tattoo. "I don't know where to start."

"From the beginning?" Reece tries, moving over so Mom can put an arm around her shoulders. And Mom laughs, and it sounds a little sad, a little exhausted, but  _real._ "Yeah, the beginning. All right." She takes a long breath, and she smiles, slow, genuine. "Okay, Reece. Let's talk about Root." 

And Reece leans into her mother's embrace, curls close, and listens. 

**Author's Note:**

> yes it's root & shaw's kid. no i don't care about the mechanics of conception, imagine whatever the hell you want. yes she was named for reese. yes bear is somewhere just not explicitly mentioned in the fic. yes i still hate harold. yes i still hate nolan. and yes i still miss root. i still miss shaw. i can't believe it's been more than a year. i still miss them so much. i will miss them for the rest of my life.


End file.
